A few gentle reminders of my expectations. Sorry if all of this is obvious to you, but to some it is not. So, here we go...

  • Respect the laws of the State of Washington.

  • I expect a polite introduction. Please send a composed email with your booking details. I'll know if you've sent me fake info or a burner number, so please don't.

    Avoid inappropriate questions. "txt spk" and one-liners are a huge turn-off.

    Sending dick pics will earn you a permanent spot on my shitlist.

  • When you book, be absolutely 100% sure about meeting. I have a 24 hour cancellation policy, 72 hours for travel bookings.

    Cancellations within 24 hours accrue a 50% cancellation fee. A 100% cancellation fee applies to a no-show or cancellation within 6 hours.

  • COVID cancelation policy: Do not show up with symptoms. If you cancel because you're sick or exposed, please get tested for COVID within 48 hours, send me a screenshot, and I will apply the cancellation fee (minus my expenses) toward a future date.

    Please note, you must cancel right away! If I have gone through the effort and expense of showing up for our meeting, I will keep the entire cancellation fee.

  • Be prepared for the financial arrangements. Cash or bitcoin. My fee is due upon upon arrival. Please have it ready and visible, so I don’t have to ask for it.

    Attempting to negotiate is beyond the pale.

  • Please wash up! Scrub all your smelly bits until they are completely fresh and clean.

    Oral hygiene too, please.

    A tiny spritz of fragrance, or none at all.

    Yes, you will have time. No it is not optional . You will use my shower if I am hosting. I'll have a fresh towel and mouthwash waiting for you.

  • Please ask permission before using me as a reference

  • Keep your secret life a secret. Secure your phone. Beware the Cloud. iMessage across devices is dangerous!

    Do you prefer an encrypted texting app? Me too. I am on Signal & Telegram.

    DuckDuckGo has a fantastic mobile browser for secret surfing: Use it to log in to your secret email account.

  • What happens between us, stays between us.

    No reviews.

    My incall location is absolutely nobody's business.

    I abhor gossip about my colleagues, and I will not engage in it. I expect the same respect in return.

  • You and I have boundaries, both physical and personal. I will respect yours. Please respect mine.

  • No weapons. If you carry, leave it behind.

  • If you behave badly, I will end our date and keep my full fee.

To you who understand these things without being told, I apologize.
Your family obviously raised you right, and for that I am truly grateful.